The dangers of vegetarianism | The viewer

I have no doubt that the hot weather caused by climate change is the main cause of the many wildfires we have seen in the UK this summer. But I wonder if they’ve also become more plentiful as a result of various authorities desperately trying to make the countryside more “accessible” to people who, in truth, shouldn’t be allowed near it.

The more you encourage the dregs of humanity to visit “green spaces”, the more likely they will show up and ruin them. This is a social class of extremely low intelligence but, at the same time, a vast gustatory appetite – they are unable to go more than 20 minutes without gnawing or swallowing something. This explains why they always take with them during these reckless expeditions a disposable barbecue to cook their revolting sausages and burgers. Thrown barbecues are the cause of many of the fires you’ve seen on your TV news, and firefighters have called for them to be banned.

Ban people, I say. A family of them recently descended on a quiet spot I enjoyed by the River Wear (not visibly exhausted) and immediately started ‘cooking’, sending up thick clouds of noxious smoke and very probably toxic through dancing, rippling water. . Papa Mackem, Mama Mackem, and three infant Mackem, the youngest of whom was about four years old and still unable to pronounce anything deeper than “gnugh”. After swallowing their burgers whole, they quickly got back into their vomit yellow Nissan Juke and drove off, leaving behind the smoldering remains, along with the plastic carton of an energy drink.

What is the benefit of encouraging such people to visit the countryside? And yet we continue to do so, turning perfectly pleasant woods into “forest parks” with “forest alleys” (i.e. trails) dotted with insane notices designed to elevate morons. If you have ever visited any of these places – Hamsterley Forest near my home is one of them – you will have noticed that 90% of visitors do not venture more than 200 meters from the large car park, cafe and toilets. Burger, ice cream, shit; then back home for more of the same.

We’re told countryside exposure improves temperament and state of mind, but that’s not the case if it’s been half-paved and is now prowled by Jabba the Hutt’s tattooed parents, torso naked and hurling invectives at Loxley and Liberty, their ugly and screaming offspring.

Yet, although these people are weak, they have enough common sense to resist the continual curses and propaganda of the authorities and willfully eat a lot of meat rather than “plant-based foods” (as vegetables now seem to be known). ). Good for them, then. The relentless pro-vegetarian, anti-meat narrative that keeps ringing in our heads – and the extent to which this discourse is echoed by our supermarkets – reminds me of those other fronts of the so-called culture war: the transgender trade and the fact that our television commercials make it look like 65% of the country is black or brown. They are all part of the counter-reality business.

According to the latest figures, only 2% of our population is vegetarian. Two percent. And yet, once again, a tiny minority dictates the agenda. I read in a newspaper article last week that vegetarian women are much more likely to need hip replacements than their carnivorous sisters. This stat goes against the narrative that vegetarianism is good for you and that eating meat will kill you, which we hear about almost daily.

But the same goes for the rest of the stats. A US study has shown that vegetarians are more likely than carnivores to suffer fractures of various limbs due to their lower bone mineral density. Poke a vegetable and it may crumble into dust. The lack of zinc, iodine and vitamin B12 also contributes to a greater propensity for goiters, fatigue, megaloblastic anemia, diarrhea and even neurological damage. Vegetarians are also much (20%) more likely than carnivores to suffer a stroke, although meat eaters are more likely to face a heart attack.

Then there’s the mental stuff. The majority of studies I’ve seen suggest that people who don’t eat meat are more prone to depression and anxiety than the rest of us, although it’s not clear to me if the propensity to do a little doolally is occasioned by their avoidance of meat or was already present. Some studies have found a correlation between vegetarianism and memory problems.

I suppose it would be rude to add to this long list of side effects the infamous flatulence experienced by those who eat only a plant-based diet (and of course suffered by those around them). Naturally, vegetarians are less likely to be fat, so it may be that if we all became vegetarians, our obesity crisis would be cured – and hospitals would instead be full of brittle-boned stroke victims chatting madly among themselves surrounded by of a foul-smelling lens-induced methane cloud.

I joke a little, but only a little. I’m sure it’s right that we eat way more meat than is good for us – a first world wealth problem – and especially way too much processed meat. But increasingly, the narrative eschews balance in favor of misguided absolutism: stop eating meat.

This is largely, I think, because meat can cost the planet dearly. As a result, the deleterious effects of adopting a meatless diet are glossed over or completely ignored, as if they did not exist. But they do. A vegetarian-only diet carries some pretty serious risks – and even more so if it consists of processed vegetarian foods, which is increasingly the case.

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